Surely it wouldn't be that expensive to come home early? Am feeling so exhausted right now...
My day started when our albergue (the name for pilgrim hostels) turned on its lights at 6am. It's weird, I was awake at this time and almost feeling ready to start the day - just not walking the camino! I was actually really nervous. I could either walk 21km to Zubiri or a further 5km to Larrasoana. It was raining when I left and didn't stop for most of the walk.
Although there was not too much uphill, the downhill was around 2inches thick of mud that squelched and moved under my feet. This was a hard stage and I think this was mostly the case due to ruining myself yesterday. Today I cursed the mud, the rain, and my fringe that kept falling in my face!
Despite the pain today, this stage was amazingly beautiful! The rain made the green leaves vibrant and the landscape was breath taking. Sometimes I would get so focused on my next step, and the hear a noise that would force me to look up, and when I did, the surrounds gave instant calm.
There are concrete crosses placed along the path... Its times like this I wish I could read spanish! I am sure they are significant!
It's hard waking by myself... I don't know if it's because I don't have anyone to moan too or the comfort you feel when you know someone else is hurting too.
Two things I have noticed so far - the amount of pilgrims! They are everywhere! The first albergue I got to today (at 2pm) was booked out! This high number is good in a sense as I always have someone to follow. It is bad when they get lost because I do too (may have happened today!) The 2nd is the lack of solo pilgrims! They all raise their eyebrows at me when I say I am alone. They follow this up with a thumbs up and a 'well done' - their tone represents that of 'Freak! What a crazy girl' and encouragement. I absorb the later!
I guess when I look within, I do feel really alone! Not lonely, just, solo. So few here speak English and while the entire room has a joke in Spanish, I just smile and feel awkward!
And yes, there is doubt creeping in about my ability to make this Camino...am sure it will pass! ... Hopefully! I often have Liv talking in my head (I know, scary right!) saying that even without physical ability, determination alone will get me there... I guess when you start to miss peeps at home, the determination waivers.
On a brighter note, i found this amazing albergue... 1st floor which is a relief from 3rd at the last albergue, but on a top bunk... Hurties much?
I am going to do some washing, have made a reservation for dinner, will visit the supermarket and breakfast is included! (missed out this morning on breakfast and lunch - just been munching on saltana's and nuts and a mueslie bar that I dared myself to eat after not understanding the ingredients! I live on the edge! Haha
Am going to try and fit in a siesta too!
Missing you all and thinking of u often, ciao xx
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